She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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