awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize