I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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