Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
