hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
