Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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