i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
