I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
