i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
farters have to be the big spoon...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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