the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize