The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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