the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
