I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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