You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
