you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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