I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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