woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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