In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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