This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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