I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Found the puke drawer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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