I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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