Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
