I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize