So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
