3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize