Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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