he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
