We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
