your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
