Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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