With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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