Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize