It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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