I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I touched a dick in church today
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize