He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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