that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize