My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
