I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You pole danced in your parka.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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