well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
