ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
