after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
