Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
