i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
