No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i've created a new STD.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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