I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My vagina just clenched in fear
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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