She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
