Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize