Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize