shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
