Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
