if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize