i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
