I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
time to smoke my breakfast
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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