even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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