Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
