I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
