If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
