So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
