P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize