ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
