somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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