I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
