No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
