Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
