Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
