even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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