So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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