Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
a search helicopter?!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize