I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
