Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
