u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
