Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
