it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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