am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
