you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
