some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
