I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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