I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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